music+passion=love

this entire week has been something else for me.. for a short moment, I started slipping back into a trance, a trip to a very chronic case of depression...the other day my mother finally said.. "snap out of it Kristi! this is not good for you.." she went on to say I needed to figure something out to get out of this trance I was slipping into rather quickly.. little did I know, this was only the beginning of a beautiful awakening!! I left my house and went to clear my head. I caught up with an old friend, worked on music with another, and just enjoyed the rest of my night with another close friend.. in all this time, that phrase my mother told me before leaving replayed in my head all night.. the beautiful things my friend shared with me earlier that evening had shaken my spirit and awakened me.. that is when I realize I cannot go on living like this anymore. I will NOT be a victim to depression and the worldy lies. my spirit will not drown again. God took me on a short adventure and started speaking life into my soul..someone special in my life is going through this same trance...I asked God what to do and to give me wisdom to help him.. God spoke so quietly but I could hear his voice so solemnly. it is not my battle. I have said I would be here, I have encouraged, I have spoken life into his heart, and I have been my best to be patient and just give him his moment.. I felt so empty, and have asked God to refill me constantly so I can fill others with his overwhelming joy, hope, love, and peace. God spoke and said to put my life and his in his hands. to remain in deep prayer for him and to allow the spirit to do what is needed. I realized to do all these things, I needed to get my life in check. now! not tomorrow. not next week, not in a few hours! now!! for the spirit to freely move through me and into others and for others to see that in me, I have to "snap out of the trance I have been in". I have been sleeping far too long. I need to awaken my heart and get back to the very purpose of why I am here and how to live my life.. when I do this, God will overflow in my soul, permeate every part of who I am, and it will fill others just from seeing me shine with God's love and life! I must trust that God will get him through this hard time and feeling of emptiness. I have to do my part. I have to keep speaking life into his soul, into his heart. I must watch everything I do and say, so that the spirit may move accordingly and act quickly on this person's behalf. God, thank you for opening my blinded eyes and hardened heart. is it time for a wake up call. and I am ready to fight this battle of the mind here and now! give me the strength and the courage to fight the good fight and to keep moving even when I feel like I am losing! you will help me, you will win! you will conquer, you will destroy all feelings of unworthiness and not being good enough. you will restore, heal, and bring happiness back to his broken heart. oh God, I already thank you for all that you are doing! I  will praise you in the storm until the sun shines again. I will put my faith in that which I cannot see at all, I will be still and peaceful, for I know, you ARE GOD!!!!!!